This week’s come and almost going (though I wish the weekends wouldn’t) so quickly. Within the blink of an eye, it’s already Friday morning and yours truly is up bright and early (in front of the computer no less), and thinking of ways to best utilize my day off from work.
Heading to Junction 8 to do some light solitary shopping has crossed my mind, but knowing myself, alone time at the mall can sometimes push me to do heavy duty grocery shopping – which is no good for me because I always end up buying only food. I know I’ve been getting rather pudgy lately, and although I still haven’t found the motivation (or the right pair of shoes) to hit the gym, I’m trying a little to cut down on snacking. Oh, and I successfully skipped dinner and any form of snacks last evening without getting any gastric pain. (The real reason is that I had a really good nap and thus didn’t want to get up to eat)
17th November 2009 marks my first year at MMS. Looking back, it’s indeed been a long journey. I recall how much trauma I went through during my first three months and everyday I felt like I was fighting a battle and I wanted to leave so badly. I tried looking elsewhere but got rejected because I was apparently over-qualified. Without much of a choice, I decided to stay and fight on. Somehow I realised I had to be strong and confident, and most of all, to buck up - ’cos I have some skills I hadn’t been putting to good use.
Obviously I still make many mistakes along the way, but I learn to move on. The path to being a better employee and better person is mostly based on self-reconciliation. People will always say nasty things about you, but we need to disregard them. If one can learn to forgive himself/herself and move forward, half the bloody battle is already won. It’s all in the head, really. I haven’t completely mastered the skill, but I’m not looking back either.
I’ve been reflecting quite a bit about life in general. People are always searching for greener pastures, as am I, and at times I have succumbed to such temptation. But when I cross over the fence, I find that the grass isn’t so green after all – and what looked better from the other side turns out to be just an illusion. It’s horrible when such tempting thoughts are in my head. I have to keep reminding myself of the consequences and how much I stand to lose in the end – I know this because I have lost at least one person I loved to flock to what I thought was a greener pasture. These days I have to keep using my mental prowess to condition myself not to take the bait because I’m the only person who can stop me.
After all that God has blessed me with, I ought to be content.
